Chapter 2 – A File I Wasn’t Meant to See
I sat in my car and read the whole file, page by page, with the engine off and the windows fogging up. It was real. It wasn’t a draft or a joke or some paperwork someone had pulled by mistake.
There was a recommendation form with a signature at the bottom. Julian’s signature. He is the medical director for our department, so his signature on a transfer recommendation carries weight.
I stared at it for a long time. The date on the form was three weeks earlier. Three weeks. That meant that while I was working nights and bringing him dinner and asking him how his day was, he was signing a piece of paper that would hand my job to another woman.
There was also an approval stamp from nursing administration and a line that said the transfer had been reviewed and approved. Approved. Paige hadn’t been lying about that part.
I put the file on the passenger seat and drove home. The house was quiet when I walked in, and I figured Julian was still at the hospital, maybe trying to figure out what to say to me.
But his car was in the driveway. He was already home. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, still in his work clothes, and he stood up when he saw me.
“Merry, I can explain.”
I put the file on the table between us. “Then explain.”
He looked at the folder and then at me, and I could see him deciding what version of the truth he was going to tell. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“Julian, I read it. It says my position is vacated. It says Paige is taking over. It has your signature on it.”
He sat back down. “I facilitated the transfer. Yes. But I didn’t do it to hurt you.”
“Then why?”
He rubbed his face with both hands. “Because you’ve been exhausted for a year, Merry. I thought this would be a relief for you.”
I stood there in my coat with my bag still on my shoulder and felt something cold settle in my chest. “A relief.”
“You never sleep. You never eat. You come home and you fall into bed and you’re back out the door before I even wake up. I thought if you stepped back—”
“I didn’t step back. I didn’t sign anything. I didn’t even know about it.”
He looked at the table. “I know.”
“Then how did you facilitate it?”
He was quiet for a second. “I told them you were considering it. That you wanted to step down for health reasons.”
I actually laughed. It came out ugly and short. “Health reasons.”
“I didn’t file anything on your behalf. I just… made the recommendation.”
“And the affair?”
He looked up. “That started after. After we talked about separating.”
I stared at him. “We never talked about separating, Julian.”
“We did. In March. You said you were tired of feeling like a roommate.”
“I said I was tired! I said I was tired of working nights and never seeing you! That’s not the same thing!”
My voice cracked on the last word, and I hated that it did. He didn’t say anything. I sat down across from him because my legs were shaking.
“When did you tell Paige that we were separated?”
“A few weeks ago.”
“And when did you sign the transfer recommendation?”
He didn’t answer.
“Julian, when?”
“Three weeks ago.”
“So you signed a transfer to replace me before you even told her we were separated?”
He opened his mouth and closed it again. That was my answer.
I realized then that he had never once asked me what I wanted. Not about the transfer. Not about the nights. Not about any of it. He had simply decided, for both of us, and then found a way to make it sound like he’d done me a favor.
“You’ve been exhausted for a year, Merry. I thought this would be a relief for you.”
I looked at the man across from me and understood that I was going to have to find out exactly how deep this went. Because a transfer doesn’t happen without a performance review. And I had never had one. Not once.
Chapter 3 – The Separation That Never Happened
I sat in my car in the hospital parking lot with that transfer file in my lap for a long time before I called my sister. Dana works in HR for a different hospital network, and she has a way of hearing things I don’t say.
